Disregard this journal, just need to get some stuff off my mind.

I feel a little lost lately. I've been ploughing away at this course for near enough a year and a half, and I can see myself getting a good degree at the end of it, which will (hopefully) help me get a good job and yadda yadda. You know the drill.
But when I really think about my future, I'm not so sure. I feel like I'm climbing a big hill, with the promise that at the top there'll be a great view of all the possibilities available to me.
But it's not the view I wanted. The view from this hill is a drab, grey, corporate one. Nameless companies looking for software developers to build them a new database, or fix their computers, or et cetera. Full of projects with good salaries and interesting people, sure. But it's not the life I want. I chose this degree course to play safe, to do something that would give me a wide range of options, "open as many doors as possible," as my mom would tell me.
I'm not so sure anymore. It may well open up a lot of doors, but the door I'm really interested in remains shut. The view from this hill may be good, but the hill I actually wanted to climb is over there. That's a better view for me.
So, what to do? The sensible side of me is telling me to stick at it. Finish the course, and get on with life like everyone else. I'm not special and I may well look back at this in a month or a year and wonder what the hell I was thinking. So hi, future me.
But the other side thinks that this may well be the last time I really get a chance to chase it. Sure, I could come back and do the course I really want to when and if I'm ever in a position to afford it. But I suspect if I'm ever in such a position to be able to afford to drop my career and go back to uni, I'd be mad to.

I guess, for now, I should stick to the former.